fatherhood

Editor’s note: This was originally written and to be published in the June 2018 edition of Parenting OC Magazine. But do to space limitations it was cut. So it is posted here by the author.

Well here I was, sitting on a bench under the shade of a tree in the Central Plaza at Disneyland. With me was our daughter, then about eight months old. Where was Mom? She was off in the long line for Pirates of the Caribbean with our four-year-old son.

He decided Mom deserved a trip to Disneyland for her birthday. Meanwhile I, the Dad, got to come too as it was Father’s Day, but it really meant I would watch baby sister while they went on a bunch of Disneyland attractions, especially those the baby could not ride.

My wife really knows how to get ready for trips to places like Disneyland. She was determined to not bring a stroller. So, we had a front pack for our daughter, and a backpack with all the baby stuff in it: Formula, bottles, baby food, disposable diapers, a change of clothes, extra blankets, two containers of baby wipes, and large, sealable, baggies to put, well, soiled things in.

The last would come in handy, as I would find out.

Thankfully, before they ran off to see the pirates, my wife took our daughter into the ladies’ bathroom and changed our daughter’s wet diaper. I figured that would hold her for a while. But my wife also assured me there were changing tables in the men’s bathrooms too.

I’m a little old-school. If my daughter did something while my wife was gone, I really didn’t want to have to change my daughter’s diaper in a men’s room. But I also did not want to do it out in the open on a Disneyland park bench either. My wife pointed across the plaza.

“There’s a Baby Care Center over there, I’m sure they can help you out,” she said as the two of them took off to get in the 90-minute line for Pirates of the Caribbean.

Now the nice thing about being a Dad with a baby, is that all the people like to stop by and make fun faces at the baby. And I will admit some of them were some nice-looking women. But I digress.

There we were, baby daughter and me sitting across from Sleeping Beauty Castle. She seemed to be very happy. When the horses pulling the street cars stopped nearby, we would walk over to them; she really liked them. Mary Poppins and Bert strolled by and said “Hello.” She really liked that.

We watched some ducks waddle by for a handout, I had a box of popcorn and “accidentally” spilled some on the ground for them. It went fine with my cup of soda, which did have a baby spillage prevention device on it, better known as a lid.

Things were going along fine for about an hour when she got fussy. Usually a sign that she wanted to either eat or drink something, so I carefully set my popcorn and drink down on the bench and got a ready to go bottle of formula of a side pocket of the backpack, and a baby blanket from another pocket. The bottle satisfied her for a while.

Then she spit the bottle out, obviously full. I set the bottle down next to the popcorn and soda, put the blanket on my shoulder, put her up there, gave her a few pats on the back and she burped. I was a pro at this. Then I laid her down on the blanket, with an arm in place to keep her from rolling off.

What a lovely day, she was kicking and smiling and goo-gooing. As I watched people taking pictures in front of the castle. I wasn’t really paying attention when she stopped making noise. I looked down at her and saw she was making a face of great concentration.

Oh oh. Did I just hear some music of impending doom? No, it was a different kind of noise – equal to the level of concentration on her face. It was a doom of a different kind – she was going poo-poo. Now normally, at home, this would not be that big a deal. But she was doing it right here on a park bench in the middle of Disneyland.

Worse yet, it was massive as it started to ooze out the sides of the diaper like the Blob and onto the blanket. And the smell? It was worse than anything the horses could do. I panicked and quickly grabbed the bottle of formula and stuffed it into the backpack – knocking over the popcorn in the process, to the great joy of the ducks in the area.

I needed to get to the Baby Care Center – and fast, as the daytime parade was approaching and I needed to get across Main Street U.S.A. before it arrived at the crossing. I wrapped her into the blanket, hiding the evidence of her dastardly deed, and quickly headed across the plaza, leaving my soda behind. Oh well, Disneyland’s Custodial staff, I was sure, would make quick work of that.

I did get stuck at the crossing while the first few floats passed, I had visions of her poo-poo oozing out like the Blob and devouring all nearby. Finally, they let us cross. I strived not to bump into anyone while carrying a baby with a diaper full of bad news. Suffice it to say, I made it to the Baby Care Center.

When I entered, it was like I’d gone to heaven for anyone needing to deal with feeding, nursing or having to change extremely dirty poo-pooed diapers like me. I thought I even heard angels singing.

The two Cast Members inside took one look at me and seemed to immediately understand what was going on. They directed me to one of the changing stations, which also had a nice paper liner on it to keep it clean from messes like my daughter’s.

One even asked if I needed any other assistance. I said no, but that they might want to hold their noses.

“We’re used to that, but this facility has excellent air circulation to take care of any unwanted odors,” the Cast Member said as she smiled.

I laid my daughter down, she seemed to relish squirming around in her mess. This was going to be a multiple baby wipe extravaganza to clean this mess up. I set the backpack emptied it, then proceeded to undo the diaper and was immediately assaulted by a pile of goo that would have been better handled by a large bulldozer.

I opened up two of the large zip top baggies; one for the diaper and wet baby wipes, the other for everything else. It took about 15 minutes to clean up the mess, with my daughter constantly moving the whole time. Finally, I was done. The dirty diaper and wet wipes filled one baggie, the dirty clothes and now dirty blanket filled the other. I sealed them both up and looked around for a waste basket for the one. The ladies pointed.

“Looks like you’ve done this before,” one of them said as they changed the paper liner.

“You might need to feed her soon,” the other Cast Member said.

I nodded and got out a jar of food, then realized there was no spoon in the backpack. One of them offered me a disposable plastic spoon, and suggested I take a few more with me.

Thank goodness for the Cast Members at the Baby Care Center. After feeding my daughter, I packed everything, not as neatly as my wife had done, and went outside. The parade had passed, and I could see my wife and son strolling this way, thank goodness, as I suddenly realized I needed to use the restroom.

–Some additional tips from Linda Marquez, a Disneyland Park Specialist of the Disney Parks Moms Panel: “Traveling with infants is making sure they are comfortable while at the parks. Bring along kid-approved sunscreen, a hat to provide shade from the sun, and a small, portable fan to keep cool. You will definitely want to bring your stroller from home or rent one at the parks. A stroller is not only the safest and most efficient way to get your little one around the parks, but it’s also an excellent place to store your belongings and a comfy spot for your little one to take a snooze. If you use a baby carrier or wrap, you can wear your baby on the majority of attractions that do not have height requirements.”

Personally, my wife and I always found it easier to go without a stroller. It was easier to move throughout the parks, and we’re good with backpacks. The Baby Care Center in each of the Disneyland Resort’s two parks have a microwave, handy for warming formula. In addition, it is the place that any lost children or lost parents can be found as well.